“But I don’t like time out!” Ashley shouts from the step where she has been sent after throwing a toy across the room because she was told she couldn’t watch television. I resist the urge to shout back “You’re not supposed to like it,” and instead turn my attention to loading the dishwasher.
I remember reading somewhere that moms and their toddlers argue an average of 20 times an hour. And while I never counted, I’m fairly sure that Ashley and I were pretty average while she was in the “terrible twos” (and certainly at least average when she was in the even more terrible threes). We argue much less now, but what we lack in frequency, we often make up for in intensity.
Ashley is my intense child – spirited, vibrant, and absolutely sure of herself. When she’s happy, she’s a true joy, with an energy and spirit that draws people in. When she’s angry or frustrated, she’s a whirlwind of energy and temper. I’d like to say that I’m always able to remain calm and patient in the face of that tempest, but I have to admit I get sucked into it more often than I would like.
And now Luke – my calm, compliant child – is entering toddlerhood with his own temper and sense of outrage when the world doesn’t work quite the way he wants. At 18 months, he still prefers to express his anger by collapsing on the floor and screaming. But he is learning the power of “no.”
Just a couple of days ago, we had our first “argument.” I was getting him ready for bed when he threw his pajamas on the floor and shouted “no way” (a phrase he’s learned from his sister). “Yes way,” I said (a phrase I’ve used often with his sister). He looked at me defiantly and, in the most confrontational voice he could muster, said “Way!” And in true Luke fashion, he then sat down in front of me and allowed me to finish dressing him for bed.
Hi Tonya. Welcome to MBC!
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