“Colby will think I am soooo beautiful today,” Ashley tells me on the way to preschool. When I ask who Colby is, she replies (in that “jeez,-don’t-you-know-anything-mom” tone of voice), “My friend.”
On this particular morning, Ashley has taken great care with her hair, using practically every hair clip she owns to create quite a unique hairstyle. When I ask if Colby is the reason she spent so much time on her hair, she replies “Yes,” (in a “well, of course” tone that I imagine was likely accompanied by some kind of eye rolling).
Oh, my little girl is growing up!
I think her first crush is cute, but I can’t help but wonder, where is it that she has learned that the way you attract boys is by being “beautiful” – not smart, not funny, not kind, but beautiful. I know I tell her often that she’s pretty, but I hope I also tell her that she is smart and thoughtful and creative. I hope I instill in her the belief that she has a lot to offer boys – and that she won’t let herself be shortchanged only by focusing on the “beauty” part.
While I hope she will know that beauty isn’t the most important criteria by which to measure her self worth, I must admit I love the absolute self confidence she has. She is positive that she is beautiful. She isn’t asking my opinion or hoping that Colby will approve of her “look.” She is absolutely certain that she is beautiful, and that Colby will, of course, recognize that.
I am sure that someday she’ll be somewhat less confident. But I hope that on more days than not, she holds on to a sense of that unwavering self confidence that needs no affirmation from anyone else.
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